A premise is a short 1-3 sentence (40-50 word) statement that defines the thrust of the story in a way that captivates the heart of the reader, so that they’re rooting for the protagonist right from the start.
The main elements it needs to contain are:
- Who the protagonist / hero is
- What it is they want / need
- Who / what is stopping them
- What happens if they fail
Into The Woods
A woman suffers a mental breakdown and runs into the woods to escape. They are full of ancient magics and she discovers a secret altar on the forest floor. This initiates a terrifying journey with her trying to defeat her demons while trying to save a small child she finds.
I originally titled the piece ‘Into The Woods’ but after reading this weeks piece by John Yorke (also titled Into The Woods) I thought it might be a bit too on-the-nose. So when I posted it for student comment I named it ‘Sapiens’.
I have chosen to include the feedback I was given as I found it very helpful:
First attempt:
A woman suffers a mental breakdown and runs into the woods to escape. They are full of ancient magics and she discovers a secret altar on the forest floor. This initiates a terrifying journey with her trying to defeat her demons while trying to save a small child she finds.
Feedback:
Jennifer: I always find films about mental health/the real and the imagined really thought provoking. Your premise would make a fascinating film, disappearing ‘down the rabbit hole’ of conscious and unconscious. The notion of the found child is really strong (think of ‘Newt’ in Aliens (1986), so you may want to bring it in earlier in your premise.
Chad: You have a great opportunity for exploration of mental health through fantastical imagery provided by the ‘ancient magics’ in your story, this is going to give you a great breadth of symbolism to explore. Because of this, you should take the opportunity of the premise to help define the main character.
While she is having a Mental Breakdown, what is it about her character that makes her interesting and unique?
Is she, an intrepid explorer? a proud artist? A struggling archaeologist?
Helping to identify the character in this way will help your readers better understand them and may help you better understand them as well.
(I say this last part for personal experience, as writers we’re never done exploring and understanding our own characters!)
Eva: Thanks so much guys I will have a think and try to re-write using your suggestions.
I think she should be some kind of historian or anthropologist as I had an image of her being in these magic woods with all of time moving around her, so it would make sense to have her be able to spot which time period it is. Or maybe that’s bringing in too many different concepts to a short piece? I always struggle a bit with short projects!
I was vaguely thinking of this as a video game where she has to kill all of the bad versions of herself and save the child, but maybe it would work better just as a short film?
Jennifer: Ooh, I like that game idea. Don’t see why you couldn’t do that, or even incorporate it into a film: overcoming flaws, but also growing and learning-she thinks she is fighting herself but she actually needs to learn to accept different and unwanted aspects of her personality (assimilation of antagonistic to neutralise it) and this makes her able to control them/her mental health. A really fascinating subject.
Second attempt:
A professor suffers a mental breakdown and journeys into the woods to escape. They are full of ancient magics and she discovers a small child by a secret altar in the forest. This initiates a terrifying journey with her trying to defeat her demons while trying to save the innocent child.
